Ms. vs Mrs. – What’s the Difference
Ms., MissandMrs.are three different ways to address women, normally as a title used before a surname. The words have very different contexts, however, and using them incorrectly can make your writing seem clumsy and even cause offense.
- Mrs.is normally used as a title for a woman who is married, or who has been a married in the past.
- Ms.is normally used as a title for a woman whose marital status is unknown.
- Missis normally used as a title for a woman who is unmarried, as well as female children, teenagers and students.
In truth, these titles are disappearing from informal speech, and some major publishers do not use them at all unless it is a direct quotation. In writing, you will mostly come across the terms on official forms. Of course, they are used in certain professions, like teaching, and they are considered terms of respect. However, modern etiquette dictates that we should always be careful when usingMrs., Ms. andMiss.The golden rule ofMrs., Ms. andMiss? When you are unsure of a woman’s marital status, and the situation dictates that you must use a title, useMs.For example, if you are writing a formal letter in business, you could address a female asMs.Jones,Ms.Wallis etc.A couple of notes:
- Missdoes not have a period after it, whereasMrs.andMs.do. The period is retained in American English, but it is usually omitted in British English.
- Miss, Mrs. andMs.are always capitalized.
- Mr. (Mister)is the male equivalent of bothMs.andMrs., whereasMaster(for a boy) is the male equivalent of Miss.
What does Ms. Mean?
Ms.is a relatively new word. It became popularized in the 1950s, at a time when the world became more conscious of feminist issues. It is now used as the default form of address for a woman whose marital status or age is not known. Indeed, many married women prefer to be addressed asMs.The Guardian Style Guide, for example, states: “use Ms for women ... unless they have expressed a preference for Miss or Mrs.”Pronunciation:Ms.sounds a bit likemizz(rhyming withhis, biz, Liz). In some regions, the pronunciation is less sharp, sounding more likemusswith a very softu.
When to Use Ms. + Original Examples
In speech and writing, the rule for usingMs.is applied when we do not know a woman’s marital status, or if that person has indicated they prefer you to address them asMs.Examples:
- I would like to introduce our new teacher,Ms.Brown.
- Ms.Frazer neglected to mention if she was married or not.
- If you aren’t married, please tick the box underMs.
What does Mrs. Mean?
Mrs. is a title used to formally address a married woman. As married women used to almost always adopt their husband’s surname,Mrs.would have indicated who they were married to, e.g.Mrs.Dalloway is married toMr.Dalloway. It’s important to remember that it can be offensive to assume a woman is married by addressing her asMrs.If in doubt, useMs.instead. If it’s important to them, the person being addressed can correct you.Pronunciation:Mrs.is pronounced as miss-is/miss-us. In British English, they will sometimes spell out the wordmissus, but this is used very informally and sometimes even as a scolding term for a young girl.
When to Use Mrs. + Original Examples
In speech and writing, the rule is to useMrs.when we are sure of a woman’s marital status and she does not go by another title such asDr.,Lady, orRabbi. This can apply when a woman is widowed or divorced. Although, some divorced women prefer to be referred to byMs. It should also be noted thatMrs.has become a kind of honorific term in politics, i.e.Mrs. Thatcher,Mrs. Merkeletc. Again though, it’s best not to make assumptions.Examples:
- Mrs.Obama was an important confidant to her husband.
- All ofMrs.Jones’ children grew up to be doctors.
- Do I call youMrs.Peters, or do you prefer Daphne?
What does Miss Mean?
Missis a title used to address a woman who is not married, and also for female students and young girls (formally). In the American South,Misshas also been used as a respectful title followed by a woman’s first name regardless of their marital status, e.g., in the movieDriving Miss Daisyor asMiss EllenfromGone With the Wind.Pronunciation:Missis pronounced as you would expect, rhyming with words likethis, hissandkiss.Remember:missis also a verb, meaning to long for someone or something or to fail to hit a target. Therefore, it’s important to capitalizeMisswhen using as an honorific so as not to cause confusion.
When to use Miss + Original Examples
In speech and writing, the rule is to useMissto address a woman who is unmarried, unless they have indicated otherwise. It can also be used to formally address students and young girls. If there is a doubt about any of these things, useMs.instead.Examples:
- MissParker, please move to the front of the class.
- This isMissWilliams, and her parents, John and Claire Williams.
- I was married for a while, but I prefer to be calledMissJohnson now.
Other titles
As you will have noticed, the whole business ofMrs., Ms. andMisscan be somewhat formal. But there are other honorifics for women that can be used in speech and writing, both formally and informally.
Madam and Madame
Madameis the French equivalent ofMrs.It is used in very, very formal addresses when we know the marital status of the woman, or as a term of respect for a woman in a position of power.Example:MadameLagarde has been a pivotal figure as head of the IMF for over a decade.Madamis used a lot more frequently, and it is basically an umbrella term for a woman of importance or a term of respect. Note thatmadamis only capitalized when used as a direct title.Examples:
- (In a restaurant) May I take your coat,madam?
- MadamPresident, thank you for your service.
- (At the start of a letter when you do not know the gender of the addressee) Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform you that I will take the job.
Ma’am
Ma’am(pronouncedmamwith one syllable) is actually a contraction ofmadam. In some parts of America, it is used as a term of respect for a woman, normally someone who is not known to you. In British English, the term is used formally to address a woman of nobility or a woman in a position of power. For example, in the police service, a female commanding officer would be addressed asma’am.Examples:
- Excuse me,ma’am. Is this your car?
- Good evening sir,ma’am.
Tips to Remember the DifferenceWe have already explained thatMs.is usually the default term of address when you are unsure of a woman’s marital status, but it looks so similar toMrs.that the two titles can be easily mixed up. A tip to remember the difference is thatMrs.contains anrin the spelling, as does marriage. If you can remember that, then you’ll know thatMrs.always refers to a married woman. Remember, if there is any doubt, useMs.
Summary
There are several titles used when speaking or writing to women. The major titles areMrs., designating a married woman, either currently or previously so;Miss, for an unmarried woman or young woman or girl; andMs., used by those women aiming for a neutral, more progressive title.Ma’am,madam, andMadameare other terms, with more specific usage. A good rule of thumb is to ask how someone would like to be referred. “Should I call you Ms. Freedman or would you prefer something else?” will garner the information about which honorific to use. When not sure of a woman’s preference or marital status,Ms. Is the safest choice.
